Self-Sufficiency Syndrome in the Workplace-Asking for Help #3
Do the people in your organization feel safe asking for help? Are women afraid that they’ll appear weak if they ask when competing for positions with men? Are your leaders safe enough in their own skins to set the pace and ask for help when necessary? As an organization, are you collectively “stuck” looking like each of you has it all together, bulletproof, while in reality behind the closed door of your office, you’re gasping for breath and wondering how you can possibly get it all done, all by yourself? You’re not alone!
As I thought through the ideas for my book, Help Is Not a Four-Letter Word: Why Doing It All Is Doing You In, published by McGraw Hill, I looked back over a long successful career in banking and real estate. I never questioned that I was so independent. I considered it one of my greatest strengths. Over time, as I took on more and more responsibility, I became invested in my pride to handle whatever someone threw at me and keep on coming – much like the EverReady Bunny. I never gave it a thought that I was isolating myself from others around me – that those under my supervision just finally gave up and let me do it. They couldn’t meet my expectations and neither could I over time. I started having panic attacks.
All this really motivated me to look at the culture of our organizations today. Many are severely self-sufficient, what I call suffering from Self-Sufficiency Syndrome. What a dangerous thing that is in this day of teams and the relationship age. Can we honestly create strong relationships with internal and external customers while remaining so independent we give an air of “not needing anyone or anything”?
What if an organization made the important decision to slowly create a culture where employees would feel safe asking for help? The core cultural value would be established that asking for help is a strength, not a weakness. After all, it takes courage to “put yourself out there and expose your Achilles Heel” in a highly competitive environment. That’s definitely a strength, not a weakness.
Standards would be set to guide each employee how to go about asking for help. It becomes a part of the Performance Appraisal, assessing how well an individual can ask for help and if she did ask when grappling with a problem she couldn’t solve alone. How quickly she asked. After all, time is money and if we can convince employees to ask before they waste vast amounts of time trying to save their image.
Many companies have excellent mentoring programs and what is a mentoring program if not a safe environment in which to grow skills and strengths? To ask questions. To ask for help, in essence. Mentoring is an excellent beginning!
High morale – great retention because employees feel valued – collaborative atmosphere – trusting environment resulting in higher productivity and creativity in the process – all going to the bottom line. What a payoff for everyone!
Peggy Collins is a speaker, trainer and author. This article is based on her McGraw Hill published book Help Is Not a Four-Letter Word: Why Doing It All Is Doing You In. Peggy can be reached through her website www.helpisnotafourletterword.com or peggy@helpisnotafourletterword.com
